In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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