we're blogging at a bar
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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