You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
