I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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