i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
