You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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