apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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