i think my tv is drunk
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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