think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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