Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
