Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
