My girlfriend figured out who you are.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
