So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
