HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
