Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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