absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You pole danced in your parka.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
