Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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