Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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