we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
