i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's shark week go big or go home
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
