That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
