butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
