He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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