I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
