I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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