what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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