so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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