are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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