The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
