last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Randomize
