i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
