The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
