Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She's the barista slut.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
