My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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