..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
