Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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