Small penises have feelings too.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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