I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
