coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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