so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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