what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
