Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
wow bdsm is so cute
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
