so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
