Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
