Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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