are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
