When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
