So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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