The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
