craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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