her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
