What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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