You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
