The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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